It is often stated that "first loves" are hard to forget and difficult to overcome. Do you remember the first time you fell in love? Fond memories, sweethearts, warm and cozy feelings, delightful laughter, stolen kisses, romantic adventures, hours talking because you can't get tired of each other, maybe holding hands, praying, singing even when you cannot sing, and long hugs when it was time to separate?
I read recently that about 25% of females marry their first love. Nancy Kalish, Ph.D., emeritus professor of psychology at Cal State Sacramento, spent more than 20 years researching this love phenomenon. She surveyed over 1000 people in over 28 countries and the results were astounding:
62 % of them chose to reunite with their first loves.
Reunions at an older age resulted in lasting unions.
78% of these lovebirds remain married for many years and the divorce rate is 1.5%
Those surveyed reported that compared to all the other loves in their past, their first love was the most memorable and intense.
Lastly, the warning was given that if you are in a married relationship, do not seek to befriend your first love because most times it ends in your marriage being devastated, especially if you are not seeking to leave your spouse.
There are several elements that make this kind of relationship that "forever love". Most of them were built on years of friendship: they know each other very well and despite the flaws uncovered, they have made a vow of commitment because those flaws were not deal breakers. Secondly, they experienced many firsts with their loves and these create an intense bond that is tough to erode. There is a trust present that is so intimate that it is virtually impregnable because the lovers feel very secure in each other's care. Finally, because these couples are in love and not infatuated...love lingers long and strong in their lives.
Could these be the elements that God intimated when He reminded the church of Ephesus to remember its first love? Revelation 2: 4-5 (Read verses 1-7). Is this the experience that He wants all his people to have in Him? Yes! God wants us to remember that He is our first love and that our relationship can only be strong and lasting when we become His friend. Get to know Him through the reading and studying of the Bible. This friendship naturally blossoms into a beautiful love affair that nurtures trust and security from sin and Satan. The older the friendship, the risks of an outside affair dwindle and disappear because we are in love with Christ.
Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; ... Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.
Song of Solomon 8: 6,7
As we embark on another day, remember your First Love. Don't forget to spend time with Jesus daily. Perhaps in the past or present, we may have placed other things or people as priorities other than Christ. It is not too late to repent and start over! Let us rekindle the relationship if we have been tempted to leave or neglect our First Love. Spend quality time talking and laughing; singing and holding hands with Jesus. Never let Him go from our presence even though out of sight! I pray we will remain true to our Love and never bring disgrace to this sweet, sacred, and eternal bond. Maranatha!
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